Time In A Bottle (Buried In A Forest)

Has it really been three years? You don't have to answer that. I own a calendar and a phone, which obviously also has a calendar.

I know it's been three years. It just doesn't feel like it. Maybe it's because I'm getting older, maybe it's because time flies when your schedule is always full, or maybe it's the time distortion present in The Path.     

It's probably that last thing. No, hold on, it's definitely that last thing.

I was brought in for reconditioning.  

I don't really understand the process, well maybe it isn't the process itself. If you zoom out and look at all the steps, it's not that complicated. What I don't understand is the theory behind it. The why behind the who, so to speak.

The process itself is as follows:

1. Find your proxy (the boss is omniscient, I think? So this step might actually be more like simply go to your proxy).
2. Spirit them away and onto The Path. 
3. Leave them there for a time, any amount of time (does time really exist on the path? We'll come back to that on another day).
4. Retrieve them after a time (or don't, honestly I think this happens more often than many of us know. In fact, I'm pretty sure the denizens of The Path are the result proxies who have been left to cook indefinitely).
5. Profit?

What is the profit though? The results?

I call it the great blankening. Mostly because it leaves anyone who goes through it in exactly that state. Nothing but a blank slate awaiting orders. I've also heard it called Hollowing. Have to stick with the tree theme, I suppose.

I guess I should explain.

The Path is safe when used to travel. It's how we can get around as quickly as we do, but the exposure remains relatively low, never requiring more than minute at a time when utilized. 

Then, of course, there are the pockets. Small sections connected and yet segmented away from The Path proper. Again, safe as long as you remain on The Boss' good side. I've known proxies who lived in these pockets for years and remained unaffected. At least no more crazy than they were when they got there.

When you're forced to stay on the actual Path, though? It does something to you. Every thought begins to feel distant as your brain slowly disconnects from reality. The whole Path has this aura of, for lack of a better word, unbelievability. Being there is dizzying and disconcerting. The trees, the denizens, the ground itself... it feels as though you're never getting the full picture. What you're seeing isn't what is actually there, it's just an approximation of what your mind actually deigns to comprehend. You're left on the brink and to take in anything more of what lays ahead would be to shatter your sanity forever.

It reminds me of looking at Him, but to a lesser degree.

That lesser bit doesn't save you though. With how long we're left there, the results are worse.

Minds? Empty. Personalities? Gone. Agency? Missing.

This process leaves you with stereotypical proxies. Zombies that silently pursue anyone The Boss points them towards. This is often what becomes of those who are recruited by Him directly. It is also the fate of those who go through reconditioning and it's in that, where I am left confused.

Why does he choose who he does to be reconditioned?

Why was it me?

Why was it me again?

For some of us, the hollowing eventually fades, though not fully. Just like a tree that has begun its own hollowing, holes develop that never refill. For me, it's been my early life. I remember feelings and sensations, but faces and names have begun to blur from when I was child. Hell, even into my teen years. 

The time it takes to recover can vary depending on all sorts of factors. I've gone through the process three times and each time, regaining what makes me, well, me has taken longer.

The first time it was weeks, the second months, this time it was nearly a year and a half. 

One year in The Path. A year and a half to recover. Over eighteen months after my Hollowing that I spent doing something for The Boss that I have no way of remembering. I'm not sure what I did to deserve it this time, either. Never am, though. What did I do or see that he wanted me to forget?

Maybe there wasn't a reason. Maybe there never is. I'm applying human logic to something that is decidedly not so.

Something that I, with my own human logic, decided to work for.

The real questions, however, now that my sentience (or whatever limited amount my existence consists of) has returned, is: when can I expect The Boss to send me another minder and what became of mine?

Rat, where are you?